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babeinthewoodsThere are a bunch of writings, pics and comments all on the same subject.
Fetlife, the "new" and "improved" TOU, the TOU as written as opposed to the "common sense" TOU the caretakers were told to abide by and the real life, real world threats that some members face every time they log in.
The insidious and ever present threat to private safety some members face here and the selectively glacial speed that the powers that be act when confronted by a threat.
A year ago, I mistakenly turned to the caretakers when I was threatened by a local member about (verbatim quote) "taking everything I know about you to facebook". He did indeed know stuff about me. He knew people I knew, was aware of basic information about me and could identify me. We had friends AND enemies in common. He could reach through his vanilla world and destroy mine fairly easily and quickly.
The threat was made via PM, and on this user's own profile in white on black. He said, clearly and publicly that it was his intention to take his knowledge of the entity known as babeinthewoods public to another website if I didn't bow to his list of demands that I "fall in line" with his demands that I be docile, compliant and agreeable to and about him despite the fact that he took every opportunity to undermine and debase me.
That, dear friends, was pretty clear.
The response of the caretakers?
"Well, you did engage him."
I wish I were shitting you.
Our intrepid judges, juries and executioners sifted through a series of screen shots clearly showing a member give me ultimatums culminating in threats of exposing my mild mannered alter ego in relation to babe...and their response was to tell me it was my fault for standing up to him in the first place.
I shouldn't have engaged with him.
No mention of him not supposed to threaten or harrass another member....NO. I was told, in very certain terms, that I was on warning for "engaging" him.
I immediately blocked him.
Within hours, another local member put up a blog naming me by fet name as well as first name (which is fairly uncommon). She then told stories that were part overblown truth, part total fabrication and part hallucination but all told as gospel.
With my name.
Ahem...my NAMES. And my town. And the name of my former partner. All of this in the name of "standing up for my victims".
I was freaking the fuck out and publicly NAMED in a small town but they were victims.
I contacted the caretakers.
They did nothing.
For 48 hours I waited while this was linked to all over fetlife. She was spamming every group she could find with the link to this writing that exposed my personal information.
Finally, after two days, I lost my last marble.
I contacted her via PM.
I asked her what in the name of holy old fuck I'd ever done to her to deserve the emotional ass-raping I was getting.
Her response was to copy/pasta my PM and add it to the comments section of the note. In her estimation it was an ironclad admission of my "guilt" and that all her allegations were true.
Her note had hundreds of comments on it when it was finally removed.
After 5 days.
The only thing they had to say, when it was finally dealt with, was this:
*Hi there babeinthewoods!*
*We took down the pms about two hours ago, based on an earlier report from someone else.*
*Caretaker*
What the actual fuck? It took 5 days and "someone else" to get this dealt with? I was named. My town was revealed (hint: It's NOT Sydney). I was revealed to have an insidious STI (I don't). I was revealed to have had an abortion (I did) in a place where religion and medicine are so intertwined that medical treatment is one step above being leeched and exorcised.
I thought, obviously with great and stupid naivete, that new and more stringent rules would translate to new and more stringent responses.
I'm saddened to report that there is no response. There's no interest in the TOU benefitting anyone but bitlove Inc themselves.
Examples of this can be found [here][https://fetlife.com/users/113811/posts/1427184] and [here][https://fetlife.com/explore/#/users/76198/posts/1424408] and prove that the physical, emotional and mental well being of the members is a very distant lower priority to painting a facade of all being well for the people who allow the almighty dollar to be made.
If this is the main worry, then perhaps it's best if fetlife DOES go bankrupt.
This place isn't fun anymore.
It isn't safe and has never been safe.
All it is is the place that I can blog without having to censor myself...so long as I don't sing my thoughts using non-sense syllables to non-verbally express myself.
My sincere condolences to the recent victims of identity exposure here. I know how it feels to be outed and exposed and have your life ripped out of your hands. I know what it's like to be ignored in favour of someone who isn't a "problem".
At least... at the very least, if I paid the mob for my protection... the cosa nostra has a code of honour that they follow without fail and follow through when they say they will.
It's a sorry state of affairs when organized crime is more honourable than a "legitimate" business entity.
## EDIT:
Ten years ago, I was a prolific poster on an internet forum for a popular television show. Okay, alright...I'll fold...I was one of the best known posters on the Fox Television forum for the show "24". Stop judging me. It was busy, interesting and fun.
The Fox forums were managed by Prospero/Delphi with a dedicated moderator known to all and sundry as "Stevo". Stevo was active as a mod, but also as a poster and joined in on all of our clock-watching, beep-chunking revelry as a fanboy himself.
But he was all business when he needed to be.
Another poster started a fansite which became almost as active as the "official" forum was. isitonyet.net (now long defunct) attracted a great amount of traffic. I mentioned one day that I had a particular screenshot that the webmaster wanted. He requested that I send it to him so he could add it to iioy for all to enjoy.
I did.
What I *didn't* do was pay careful attention to which email address I sent from. Oy.
I sent it from my@ addy.
I am the ONLY person in Canada with my name. It takes all of about 5 microseconds to find me online if you know who I am.
As it turns out, this webmaster/24umer chose to look me up.
And then start calling me.
And then start mailing me pics of his junk via snail mail.
When I complained about his persistent harassment to Stevo, the response was swift and decisive.
He found evidence of all activity that was not okay AND FORWARDED IT TO THE GRC as evidence.
Prospero/Delphi supported me in my quest to have a member charged, even with the obvious issues of international jurisdictions. Stevo stayed with me and on top of the situation.
The site, despite the fact that contact was made offline, worked to keep me safe.
Thank you Stevo...shame on you Baku.
Fetlife, the "new" and "improved" TOU, the TOU as written as opposed to the "common sense" TOU the caretakers were told to abide by and the real life, real world threats that some members face every time they log in.
The insidious and ever present threat to private safety some members face here and the selectively glacial speed that the powers that be act when confronted by a threat.
A year ago, I mistakenly turned to the caretakers when I was threatened by a local member about (verbatim quote) "taking everything I know about you to facebook". He did indeed know stuff about me. He knew people I knew, was aware of basic information about me and could identify me. We had friends AND enemies in common. He could reach through his vanilla world and destroy mine fairly easily and quickly.
The threat was made via PM, and on this user's own profile in white on black. He said, clearly and publicly that it was his intention to take his knowledge of the entity known as babeinthewoods public to another website if I didn't bow to his list of demands that I "fall in line" with his demands that I be docile, compliant and agreeable to and about him despite the fact that he took every opportunity to undermine and debase me.
That, dear friends, was pretty clear.
The response of the caretakers?
"Well, you did engage him."
I wish I were shitting you.
Our intrepid judges, juries and executioners sifted through a series of screen shots clearly showing a member give me ultimatums culminating in threats of exposing my mild mannered alter ego in relation to babe...and their response was to tell me it was my fault for standing up to him in the first place.
I shouldn't have engaged with him.
No mention of him not supposed to threaten or harrass another member....NO. I was told, in very certain terms, that I was on warning for "engaging" him.
I immediately blocked him.
Within hours, another local member put up a blog naming me by fet name as well as first name (which is fairly uncommon). She then told stories that were part overblown truth, part total fabrication and part hallucination but all told as gospel.
With my name.
Ahem...my NAMES. And my town. And the name of my former partner. All of this in the name of "standing up for my victims".
I was freaking the fuck out and publicly NAMED in a small town but they were victims.
I contacted the caretakers.
They did nothing.
For 48 hours I waited while this was linked to all over fetlife. She was spamming every group she could find with the link to this writing that exposed my personal information.
Finally, after two days, I lost my last marble.
I contacted her via PM.
I asked her what in the name of holy old fuck I'd ever done to her to deserve the emotional ass-raping I was getting.
Her response was to copy/pasta my PM and add it to the comments section of the note. In her estimation it was an ironclad admission of my "guilt" and that all her allegations were true.
Her note had hundreds of comments on it when it was finally removed.
After 5 days.
The only thing they had to say, when it was finally dealt with, was this:
*Hi there babeinthewoods!*
*We took down the pms about two hours ago, based on an earlier report from someone else.*
*Caretaker*
What the actual fuck? It took 5 days and "someone else" to get this dealt with? I was named. My town was revealed (hint: It's NOT Sydney). I was revealed to have an insidious STI (I don't). I was revealed to have had an abortion (I did) in a place where religion and medicine are so intertwined that medical treatment is one step above being leeched and exorcised.
I thought, obviously with great and stupid naivete, that new and more stringent rules would translate to new and more stringent responses.
I'm saddened to report that there is no response. There's no interest in the TOU benefitting anyone but bitlove Inc themselves.
Examples of this can be found [here][https://fetlife.com/users/113811/posts/1427184] and [here][https://fetlife.com/explore/#/users/76198/posts/1424408] and prove that the physical, emotional and mental well being of the members is a very distant lower priority to painting a facade of all being well for the people who allow the almighty dollar to be made.
If this is the main worry, then perhaps it's best if fetlife DOES go bankrupt.
This place isn't fun anymore.
It isn't safe and has never been safe.
All it is is the place that I can blog without having to censor myself...so long as I don't sing my thoughts using non-sense syllables to non-verbally express myself.
My sincere condolences to the recent victims of identity exposure here. I know how it feels to be outed and exposed and have your life ripped out of your hands. I know what it's like to be ignored in favour of someone who isn't a "problem".
At least... at the very least, if I paid the mob for my protection... the cosa nostra has a code of honour that they follow without fail and follow through when they say they will.
It's a sorry state of affairs when organized crime is more honourable than a "legitimate" business entity.
## EDIT:
Ten years ago, I was a prolific poster on an internet forum for a popular television show. Okay, alright...I'll fold...I was one of the best known posters on the Fox Television forum for the show "24". Stop judging me. It was busy, interesting and fun.
The Fox forums were managed by Prospero/Delphi with a dedicated moderator known to all and sundry as "Stevo". Stevo was active as a mod, but also as a poster and joined in on all of our clock-watching, beep-chunking revelry as a fanboy himself.
But he was all business when he needed to be.
Another poster started a fansite which became almost as active as the "official" forum was. isitonyet.net (now long defunct) attracted a great amount of traffic. I mentioned one day that I had a particular screenshot that the webmaster wanted. He requested that I send it to him so he could add it to iioy for all to enjoy.
I did.
What I *didn't* do was pay careful attention to which email address I sent from. Oy.
I sent it from my
I am the ONLY person in Canada with my name. It takes all of about 5 microseconds to find me online if you know who I am.
As it turns out, this webmaster/24umer chose to look me up.
And then start calling me.
And then start mailing me pics of his junk via snail mail.
When I complained about his persistent harassment to Stevo, the response was swift and decisive.
He found evidence of all activity that was not okay AND FORWARDED IT TO THE GRC as evidence.
Prospero/Delphi supported me in my quest to have a member charged, even with the obvious issues of international jurisdictions. Stevo stayed with me and on top of the situation.
The site, despite the fact that contact was made offline, worked to keep me safe.
Thank you Stevo...shame on you Baku.
