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babeinthewoodsThere's a battle going on, kids.
You've seen it. I infect your feed, so it's 100% certain that you've seen the brouhaha.
A [member][https://fetlife.com/users/113811/posts/1427184] is upset.
Justifiably upset.
She's been outed. By people she was in a relationship with. Who have now threatened to track down her convicted murderer ex-husband and disclose her current identity and location to him so that he can track her down and make good on his promise to kill her (and possibly her children) for her crime of having worked with the police for his conviction many years ago.
They spammed members of this site with links to her real identity, making sure it was linked with her fet identity.
The reason they're doing this is that she left them and they're exacting revenge.
She did the very reasonable thing.
She contacted the police and filed a report. She also contacted the caretakers and you can read the horrendous mishandling of this situation in the link I provided above.
I'm not writing now about that, although the selective enforcement of the very ambiguously written TOU is very much on my mind.
I'm writing about something that someone said in response to this mess.
*You shouldn't be on here if you have something to hide*
Those 11 words have me so angry I'm physically ill.
So now, in addition to victim blaming and predator protecting, we're adding vanilla shaming to the list of ways we're holier than thou soap-boxing? Really?
We're shaming people for having vanilla lives they want to protect and keep separate?
babeinthewoods is an internet entity. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I'm a real, live, flesh and blood person on the other side of this screen.
I have a life. I have children. I have parents. I have sisters and friends and neighbours.
My children have teachers, principals, coaches and tutors.
My family has a church and coworkers and friends and extended family.
My friends have lives.
None of those things need to be impacted by who or what babeinthewoods is.
None of them.
I, and they, deserve the right to stay separate from an online profile that I use almost exclusively because I like there to be one place I can speak without having to censor myself.
However, to hear TeamBaku monologize about it, only those without anyone in the world should feel confident about their safety by being here.
Only orphans with no children, jobs, friends or neighbours should be on here.
Only people who have already inconvenienced other people with the details of their personal lives have the right to be "kinky" because they have nothing to be ashamed of.
And that, friends, is the last fucking straw.
*You shouldn't be on here if you have something to hide*
If you have a life that you value outside of your sexuality, you shouldn't be here.
If you have family or friends who have no reason to know what you get up to when you get up to Dickens, you shouldn't be here.
If you have a job that might be impacted by your sexuality, you shouldn't be here.
Only the one dimensional, cookie cutter, kinkier than thou who preach to the unconverted should be here.
I'm sickened.
I'm saddened.
I'm horrified that we're now shaming people for having lives that they don't want negatively impacted by membership on a fucking internet website.
Has it really come to this?
Are we really telling people that they shouldn't have the right to explore their sexuality and interests if they have anything else in their life at all.
Vanilla real life shaming. Now I've seen it all.
Addendum:
https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1430165
You've seen it. I infect your feed, so it's 100% certain that you've seen the brouhaha.
A [member][https://fetlife.com/users/113811/posts/1427184] is upset.
Justifiably upset.
She's been outed. By people she was in a relationship with. Who have now threatened to track down her convicted murderer ex-husband and disclose her current identity and location to him so that he can track her down and make good on his promise to kill her (and possibly her children) for her crime of having worked with the police for his conviction many years ago.
They spammed members of this site with links to her real identity, making sure it was linked with her fet identity.
The reason they're doing this is that she left them and they're exacting revenge.
She did the very reasonable thing.
She contacted the police and filed a report. She also contacted the caretakers and you can read the horrendous mishandling of this situation in the link I provided above.
I'm not writing now about that, although the selective enforcement of the very ambiguously written TOU is very much on my mind.
I'm writing about something that someone said in response to this mess.
*You shouldn't be on here if you have something to hide*
Those 11 words have me so angry I'm physically ill.
So now, in addition to victim blaming and predator protecting, we're adding vanilla shaming to the list of ways we're holier than thou soap-boxing? Really?
We're shaming people for having vanilla lives they want to protect and keep separate?
babeinthewoods is an internet entity. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I'm a real, live, flesh and blood person on the other side of this screen.
I have a life. I have children. I have parents. I have sisters and friends and neighbours.
My children have teachers, principals, coaches and tutors.
My family has a church and coworkers and friends and extended family.
My friends have lives.
None of those things need to be impacted by who or what babeinthewoods is.
None of them.
I, and they, deserve the right to stay separate from an online profile that I use almost exclusively because I like there to be one place I can speak without having to censor myself.
However, to hear TeamBaku monologize about it, only those without anyone in the world should feel confident about their safety by being here.
Only orphans with no children, jobs, friends or neighbours should be on here.
Only people who have already inconvenienced other people with the details of their personal lives have the right to be "kinky" because they have nothing to be ashamed of.
And that, friends, is the last fucking straw.
*You shouldn't be on here if you have something to hide*
If you have a life that you value outside of your sexuality, you shouldn't be here.
If you have family or friends who have no reason to know what you get up to when you get up to Dickens, you shouldn't be here.
If you have a job that might be impacted by your sexuality, you shouldn't be here.
Only the one dimensional, cookie cutter, kinkier than thou who preach to the unconverted should be here.
I'm sickened.
I'm saddened.
I'm horrified that we're now shaming people for having lives that they don't want negatively impacted by membership on a fucking internet website.
Has it really come to this?
Are we really telling people that they shouldn't have the right to explore their sexuality and interests if they have anything else in their life at all.
Vanilla real life shaming. Now I've seen it all.
Addendum:
https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1430165
