Terms of abuse...erm...use.
Feb. 28th, 2013 11:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
babeinthewoodsEdit:
This writing was suddenly yanked from K&P this morning. I'm no longer allowed to trend because I'm "causing drama". People who support what has happened can still go K&P but anyone speaking out against it can not.
[What a long, strange trip it's been][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pafY6sZt0FE].
It's been a long time since I started a writing with a song, and I've missed it. babe's not exactly a DeadHead, but babe does enjoy a good road trip song now and again.
The last few days have been a roadtrip all of their own. I feel like I bought a one-way ticket to Hell, and my seat isn't as comfortable as the hand basket my mother promised I'd use to transport myself there.
Somehow, by supporting the concept of fairness, I've managed to find myself at the epicenter of controversy.
I've been applauded, sure.
I appreciate the props, the support and the kudos but that's not why I've done what I've done.
I saw a wrong. Honestly, it had very little to do with the person the wrong was done to. If I had known her before this incident, my support would have been rallying around a friend.
The specifics of *her* situation aren't really salient to the issue, either. I mean her no disrespect, nor do I mean to diminish her pain and anguish, but the catalyst is rarely the REASON for a widespread rally for change.
The issue is fairness. The issue is consistency. The issue is the fact that the people who we're accountable to in relation to abiding by the Terms we agreed to are not bound to them, except at their whim and if they choose to do so.
That is the issue.
The horrible fact of the matter is that it took nothing less than the compromised physical safety of one of our own to bring this to light.
I love my privacy.
I used to be Almost Famous. I managed to keep my public self and my private self completely separate and I was actually one of the best known people in my age group in my geographic location.
I guarded my "real life" like it was made out of eggshells and ensured that my "working persona" didn't infringe on my enjoyment of my life.
I was a radio personality. I had the highest rated show in my time slot IN THE COUNTRY at one point, and still none but my very closest peeps knew that I was the sexy, sexy voice bringing you all the hippest sounds before they happened.
I was just a radio voice.
But still it was important to me to keep life separate so that I could enjoy it.
I was so good at it, that I'd leave work and go to school where I'd join in on the water cooler discussions of the craziness that had happened on the show the night before.
My safety wasn't an issue, or if it was, it never manifested itself overtly. It was just something I wanted. Something I demanded. Something that my employers and family and friends respected.
They allowed me to maintain my mild mannered alter ego for 11 long years, and for that I thank them profusely.
Unfortunately...very unfortunately...the center of this shit storm can't say the same thing.
She wasn't just "outed" as a kink.
She wasn't just "outed" as a person.
She was outed as someone who was at the middle of a storm the likes of which most of us can't imagine. She was outed specifically to put her in grave personal danger.
She's in hiding. Literally.
And, strangely, that I get, too.
One of my best teenaged friends has been in hiding for almost 23 years from a murderer. She survived and that is her crime.
She changed her name. She changed her looks. She changed her *her*.
And she tries to live life after a night of hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone...not even the people who are bitching and screaming about bringing on the drama yourself.
The woman at the centre of this controversy committed the crime of trust.
We've all done it.
Not one of us has the right to cast the first stone in the fight of "you brought it on yourself". We've all committed a classic blunder.
But...and like a lot of the ones who are dragging her over the coals to be burnt in effigy...this is a BIG BUT:
## WHAT HAPPENED TO HOODIE ISN'T ACTUALLY THE ISSUE, YO!
What happened when she turned to get the support she deserved based on the agreement she made with this website is.
Did I speak slowly and clearly enough for you to understand that? Did all of you in the cheap seats get it?
This isn't about what Hoodie did. Or didn't do. Or maybe did. Or the mistakes she made in her personal life or your Monday Morning Quarterbacking from your esteemed high horse.
This is about what happened when she expected her real life identity to be protected HERE by the people who told her very clearly when she joined that incidents of outing were not to be tolerated.
And she's not the only one.
She's the latest.
And she's the most extreme case.
And she's struck a chord.
Because her identity was outed in relation to her relationship to a murderer from whom she's hiding.
She's free.
That means she's allowed to live a life.
Just like me. Just like you.
Whatever sins she may or may not have committed...I can't comment. All I know is that she's free and she has the right to remain so.
And this website clearly stated that her right to anonymity should she
choose it is not to be trifled with.
On paper.
That is the issue.
On paper.
It's not enforced. Except when convenient.
And the people "in charge" question the validity of documents that would be ironclad anywhere but here in the land of cupcakes and candycorns.
It hasn't all been fun and games over here where I sit, either.
I've seen the other side, and that shit ain't pretty, kids.
It's been an alarming and eye-opening insight into the way the mind of conformity works.
It's been something that's kept me up all night.
It's been something that has made me shake my head.
I've written three pieces on this that went K&P.
[I'd rather pay the mob for protection than depend on fetlife and its employees to enforce its own rules.][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1427503]
[Vanilla real life shaming. Now I've seen it all.][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1428471]
["Fetlife911...what's your emergency?"][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1430165]
Since the first, I'd rather pay the mob..., was posted Sunday morning they've recieved a total of 1766 loves between them.
So, obviously what I had to say struck a chord, and that's nice to know.
They've also gotten a total of 383 comments between them. I rarely comment on the things I write, so maybe 3 of them are actually mine. I don't like to comment whore on my own stuff. Just not something I do. If I have something to say, I write it down.
Of those 383 comments, most are...okay.
Some are effusive praise and that makes me uncomfortable. I don't write for anyone's approval, but it's nice to know you like it.
Some are "breadcrumbs", and I like them. They just wanna pass it on, and that's nice to know.
And some have been...yanno...
Not one of those writings dealt exclusively with Hoodie and her situation.
*I'd rather pay the mob* was anecdotal support of the cause based on my interaction with the ones who choose how and when to enforce which parts of the rules we're all supposed to play by. *Vanilla real life shaming* came from a comment on a writing where it was said (over and over and by multiple offenders) that you shouldn't be on here if you have something to hide...essentially saying I don't even fucking know what that's supposed to mean. *Fetlife911* is about accountability.
And still, I'm seeing comments like this everywhere on all three of them.
-LittleAngel-: 2 days ago
*i am so sick of this shit being all over K & P. "i'm scared and i want John Baku to save me!!" Fetlife is a kinky social networking site, that's it, no obligations to your personal safety. that is YOUR responsibility everyone. If you fear for your safety, call the cops, not John Baku, plain and simple. and if you don't like the site, maybe you can go start your own, and make it better. funny everyone logs onto Fetlife now to complain how shitty it is. if you don't like it, move on, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.*
Nowhere did I say that I was scared and I wanted Baku to save me. In fact, if I ever need an admitted limits violator to save my sorry ass, it's KMN time.
I said the people in charge were doing a shitty job of following their own rules and that I might be better off buying some Goodfella a pinkie ring to ensure that any violations are taken care of swiftly and by someone with honour. I never said I hated the site. I said the management wasn't doing its job.
masterkinkman: 2 days ago
*I agree people are cruel spiteful childish and vengeful they can out you even if this site was nonexistent.don't forget everything you do In life has risks it is your job to take care of risk assessment and protect yourself.FET is a public forum and as such, things like this happen.they have a small staff and even if they would have thousands of staff members they couldn't stop people that wanted to out you it's just not possible.That is why I am open about my lifestyle and I don't hide anything.Yes I know some say I have a high profile job and I have to worry about my kids and with good reason.You don't have to give a lot of detail or a blow by blow account of what you do just enough that if things like this happen bosses,social workers etc etc understand that nothing you do reflex on what you do for a living or harms your kids that's all.I find this to work very well cause I have been in this position myself and all this helped me with out any real problems to deal with the insane people that tried to out me and they looked bad not me.*
Uhm...way to miss the point there, MKM.
No one ever said that protecting oneself wasn't an issue. The issue, as it was clearly stated *in English* mind you, was the rules not being applied.
Fuck a duck!
Kitten1971: 1 day ago
*Having not read the responses to this above my own, I am gonna step out on a limb and say this....Yes, protection through the TOU on ANY site would be nice, but in the real world it probably won't happen. This is a free(mostly) site to use, and as such, it falls more to us than anyone else to protect ourselves. Not that I am saying it is right for people to get away with harrasment or threats, just that it is a risk we all take on ANY site we frequent not just on Fet(I have had more people harass me on FB then here), and I hate to point out the obvious, but no one is forcing any of us to use this site, and if it is "not fun to be here" why stick around?*
In case you missed the point of that wall o' text, it says that it'd be NICE if they had to play by their own rules but "probably won't happen". After all, no one makes us come here, so what right does anyone have to complain?
This one doesn't even get redacted. It's so fucking asinine that it deserves to be here in all its idiotic glory:
SirGio: about 21 hours ago
*Wow. SO you want someone that is giving you a free forum to bask in your own stupidity to protect you from yourself? Not only that, but want it to die so the rest of us that LIKE it and know it's pit falls. So are careful enough to take care of our own actions. Don't have it any more?*
*You really need to take credit for your own actions. If you do not like what is here at FL. Don't come here. Don't be a part of it. Go away. Stop blaming others.*
*When my alarm clock doesn’t wake me up in the morning, I don't call out the clock maker as an irresponsible company. No I look at myself and say FUCK you’re an idiot.*
*Even Ted the teddy bear in the movie “Ted” has more responsibility for his actions. AND he’s a Teddy frickin bear.*
*You would have to thought after you got yourself in trouble the first time, you would be more careful. Stop pointing the finger. READ the disclaimer and only then “agree” to the terms if you want to join something. Don’t make us pay for your stupidity.*
*If you need water wings, don’t swim in the deep end. Oh and Please stop giving out your information!*
*"There are sicko’s out there. Protect yourself!"*
I don't know what I loved the most about this one. Was it the way he completely missed the point? Or was it the way he made it all about things I did off site that were only apropos because it made a comparison between good website management and poor website management?
Or was it just that he was a total arse?
Might be the arse part.
And on and on they go.
Those who are against consistency in the application of the TOU say pretty much the same thing.
### You're wrong 'cause personal responsibility! And you can't expect to be saved from your own stupidity 'cause Godwin! And if you don't like the website, leave! 'Cause neener-neener-neener"
And we come at them with our well reasoned arguments based in logic and small words and they still don't get it.
We even printed the argument on boobies and asses and snatches...and they still don't get it.
Despite the fact that some of these responses are offensive, semi-literate and laughable, I leave every one of them there. Okay...one gal double posted and asked me if I'd remove one of the two identical comments and so I did. I left the other one. Every single other comment is there exactly where you put it.
Last night, I was checking my notifications on my phone. In the last few days there have been a metric shit-tonne of them and if I don't keep up with them they get overwhelming. One of them caused me to check my messages. The header on the PM was "Coward".
I was intrigued.
Someone named annie says: *cant even let the truth be out there for people to see. deleted my comment. pathetic*
I scratched my head. Who can remember one functional illiterate in 2149 notifications over three days? Really...it's like looking for a needle in a stack of heroin addicts.
I knew I hadn't deleted her, so I looked for her.
There she was.
Exactly where she put herself.
[The "truth" is out there, annie. I swear to god.][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/pictures/17066554]
I responded to her that I had no idea what she was talking about. I don't delete any comments. Even those that deserve to be deleted. I didn't get into a semantic argument with someone who was clearly unarmed for a battle of wits, but I did tell her "Never mind. Found it. Right where you left it. Next time do your due diligence before hurling accusations :-D"
Then I told her not to strain herself by *being accountable for her own actions*...cause that'd be wrong.
She posted a comment that wasn't even about the writing just to post information about Hoodie for an large audience to see. She gave information about Hoodie's offsite activity.
She was outing.
No shit, Sherlock.
Read the text of that comment she was so mad I "deleted" again: "You should read Hoodie's blog where she clearly states she is still in contact with her stalker's mom. lol.. she isnt afraid of him, she wants her 15 minutes of fetlife fame"
And, ironically, that comment was found on the Vanilla shaming thread. She shamed Hoodie on the thread that talked about shaming people for wanting to have vanilla lives and connections protected from here...and this...for whatever reason they choose.
What the holy old fuck is wrong with people?
She and I have been in and out of it all morning.
I hauled her on the carpet for crashing into my life, uninvited and unannounced, hurling untrue accusations and calling me names.
I refused to accept her "apology" that was a backhanded and passive aggressive swipe at accountability...at best.
And she, like so many of those who are bitchin' and moanin' about personal accountability and taking responsibility for arsing things up, has now reported me.
ME!
The "coward".
I've been reported for my "bullying".
Erm...
Since this is fetlife and I AM a squeaky wheel (possibly the squeakiest of all the wheels right now with a total of three K&P writings on the subject of inconsistent TOU applications...twice having two there at the same time!), I will be banished, forthwith I have to assume. I'm not saying that I've been warned. I'm not saying that I've been told. I'm saying I assume it's the case because someone came uninvited into my world, harassed me and then reported me for bullying when I didn't give her a rim job and tuck her into bed.
It's to be expected.
They will have to show that they're taking a stand against people who are bullying and outing people and I will be that example.
After all, I was the one who was attacked...so it makes sense.
How do you like YOUR 15 minutes of fetlife fame, annie? Is it everything you hoped it would be?
Trust me, having people laugh *with* you isn't the same as having them laugh *at* you.
This writing was suddenly yanked from K&P this morning. I'm no longer allowed to trend because I'm "causing drama". People who support what has happened can still go K&P but anyone speaking out against it can not.
[What a long, strange trip it's been][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pafY6sZt0FE].
It's been a long time since I started a writing with a song, and I've missed it. babe's not exactly a DeadHead, but babe does enjoy a good road trip song now and again.
The last few days have been a roadtrip all of their own. I feel like I bought a one-way ticket to Hell, and my seat isn't as comfortable as the hand basket my mother promised I'd use to transport myself there.
Somehow, by supporting the concept of fairness, I've managed to find myself at the epicenter of controversy.
I've been applauded, sure.
I appreciate the props, the support and the kudos but that's not why I've done what I've done.
I saw a wrong. Honestly, it had very little to do with the person the wrong was done to. If I had known her before this incident, my support would have been rallying around a friend.
The specifics of *her* situation aren't really salient to the issue, either. I mean her no disrespect, nor do I mean to diminish her pain and anguish, but the catalyst is rarely the REASON for a widespread rally for change.
The issue is fairness. The issue is consistency. The issue is the fact that the people who we're accountable to in relation to abiding by the Terms we agreed to are not bound to them, except at their whim and if they choose to do so.
That is the issue.
The horrible fact of the matter is that it took nothing less than the compromised physical safety of one of our own to bring this to light.
I love my privacy.
I used to be Almost Famous. I managed to keep my public self and my private self completely separate and I was actually one of the best known people in my age group in my geographic location.
I guarded my "real life" like it was made out of eggshells and ensured that my "working persona" didn't infringe on my enjoyment of my life.
I was a radio personality. I had the highest rated show in my time slot IN THE COUNTRY at one point, and still none but my very closest peeps knew that I was the sexy, sexy voice bringing you all the hippest sounds before they happened.
I was just a radio voice.
But still it was important to me to keep life separate so that I could enjoy it.
I was so good at it, that I'd leave work and go to school where I'd join in on the water cooler discussions of the craziness that had happened on the show the night before.
My safety wasn't an issue, or if it was, it never manifested itself overtly. It was just something I wanted. Something I demanded. Something that my employers and family and friends respected.
They allowed me to maintain my mild mannered alter ego for 11 long years, and for that I thank them profusely.
Unfortunately...very unfortunately...the center of this shit storm can't say the same thing.
She wasn't just "outed" as a kink.
She wasn't just "outed" as a person.
She was outed as someone who was at the middle of a storm the likes of which most of us can't imagine. She was outed specifically to put her in grave personal danger.
She's in hiding. Literally.
And, strangely, that I get, too.
One of my best teenaged friends has been in hiding for almost 23 years from a murderer. She survived and that is her crime.
She changed her name. She changed her looks. She changed her *her*.
And she tries to live life after a night of hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone...not even the people who are bitching and screaming about bringing on the drama yourself.
The woman at the centre of this controversy committed the crime of trust.
We've all done it.
Not one of us has the right to cast the first stone in the fight of "you brought it on yourself". We've all committed a classic blunder.
But...and like a lot of the ones who are dragging her over the coals to be burnt in effigy...this is a BIG BUT:
## WHAT HAPPENED TO HOODIE ISN'T ACTUALLY THE ISSUE, YO!
What happened when she turned to get the support she deserved based on the agreement she made with this website is.
Did I speak slowly and clearly enough for you to understand that? Did all of you in the cheap seats get it?
This isn't about what Hoodie did. Or didn't do. Or maybe did. Or the mistakes she made in her personal life or your Monday Morning Quarterbacking from your esteemed high horse.
This is about what happened when she expected her real life identity to be protected HERE by the people who told her very clearly when she joined that incidents of outing were not to be tolerated.
And she's not the only one.
She's the latest.
And she's the most extreme case.
And she's struck a chord.
Because her identity was outed in relation to her relationship to a murderer from whom she's hiding.
She's free.
That means she's allowed to live a life.
Just like me. Just like you.
Whatever sins she may or may not have committed...I can't comment. All I know is that she's free and she has the right to remain so.
And this website clearly stated that her right to anonymity should she
choose it is not to be trifled with.
On paper.
That is the issue.
On paper.
It's not enforced. Except when convenient.
And the people "in charge" question the validity of documents that would be ironclad anywhere but here in the land of cupcakes and candycorns.
It hasn't all been fun and games over here where I sit, either.
I've seen the other side, and that shit ain't pretty, kids.
It's been an alarming and eye-opening insight into the way the mind of conformity works.
It's been something that's kept me up all night.
It's been something that has made me shake my head.
I've written three pieces on this that went K&P.
[I'd rather pay the mob for protection than depend on fetlife and its employees to enforce its own rules.][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1427503]
[Vanilla real life shaming. Now I've seen it all.][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1428471]
["Fetlife911...what's your emergency?"][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/posts/1430165]
Since the first, I'd rather pay the mob..., was posted Sunday morning they've recieved a total of 1766 loves between them.
So, obviously what I had to say struck a chord, and that's nice to know.
They've also gotten a total of 383 comments between them. I rarely comment on the things I write, so maybe 3 of them are actually mine. I don't like to comment whore on my own stuff. Just not something I do. If I have something to say, I write it down.
Of those 383 comments, most are...okay.
Some are effusive praise and that makes me uncomfortable. I don't write for anyone's approval, but it's nice to know you like it.
Some are "breadcrumbs", and I like them. They just wanna pass it on, and that's nice to know.
And some have been...yanno...
Not one of those writings dealt exclusively with Hoodie and her situation.
*I'd rather pay the mob* was anecdotal support of the cause based on my interaction with the ones who choose how and when to enforce which parts of the rules we're all supposed to play by. *Vanilla real life shaming* came from a comment on a writing where it was said (over and over and by multiple offenders) that you shouldn't be on here if you have something to hide...essentially saying I don't even fucking know what that's supposed to mean. *Fetlife911* is about accountability.
And still, I'm seeing comments like this everywhere on all three of them.
-LittleAngel-: 2 days ago
*i am so sick of this shit being all over K & P. "i'm scared and i want John Baku to save me!!" Fetlife is a kinky social networking site, that's it, no obligations to your personal safety. that is YOUR responsibility everyone. If you fear for your safety, call the cops, not John Baku, plain and simple. and if you don't like the site, maybe you can go start your own, and make it better. funny everyone logs onto Fetlife now to complain how shitty it is. if you don't like it, move on, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.*
Nowhere did I say that I was scared and I wanted Baku to save me. In fact, if I ever need an admitted limits violator to save my sorry ass, it's KMN time.
I said the people in charge were doing a shitty job of following their own rules and that I might be better off buying some Goodfella a pinkie ring to ensure that any violations are taken care of swiftly and by someone with honour. I never said I hated the site. I said the management wasn't doing its job.
masterkinkman: 2 days ago
*I agree people are cruel spiteful childish and vengeful they can out you even if this site was nonexistent.don't forget everything you do In life has risks it is your job to take care of risk assessment and protect yourself.FET is a public forum and as such, things like this happen.they have a small staff and even if they would have thousands of staff members they couldn't stop people that wanted to out you it's just not possible.That is why I am open about my lifestyle and I don't hide anything.Yes I know some say I have a high profile job and I have to worry about my kids and with good reason.You don't have to give a lot of detail or a blow by blow account of what you do just enough that if things like this happen bosses,social workers etc etc understand that nothing you do reflex on what you do for a living or harms your kids that's all.I find this to work very well cause I have been in this position myself and all this helped me with out any real problems to deal with the insane people that tried to out me and they looked bad not me.*
Uhm...way to miss the point there, MKM.
No one ever said that protecting oneself wasn't an issue. The issue, as it was clearly stated *in English* mind you, was the rules not being applied.
Fuck a duck!
Kitten1971: 1 day ago
*Having not read the responses to this above my own, I am gonna step out on a limb and say this....Yes, protection through the TOU on ANY site would be nice, but in the real world it probably won't happen. This is a free(mostly) site to use, and as such, it falls more to us than anyone else to protect ourselves. Not that I am saying it is right for people to get away with harrasment or threats, just that it is a risk we all take on ANY site we frequent not just on Fet(I have had more people harass me on FB then here), and I hate to point out the obvious, but no one is forcing any of us to use this site, and if it is "not fun to be here" why stick around?*
In case you missed the point of that wall o' text, it says that it'd be NICE if they had to play by their own rules but "probably won't happen". After all, no one makes us come here, so what right does anyone have to complain?
This one doesn't even get redacted. It's so fucking asinine that it deserves to be here in all its idiotic glory:
SirGio: about 21 hours ago
*Wow. SO you want someone that is giving you a free forum to bask in your own stupidity to protect you from yourself? Not only that, but want it to die so the rest of us that LIKE it and know it's pit falls. So are careful enough to take care of our own actions. Don't have it any more?*
*You really need to take credit for your own actions. If you do not like what is here at FL. Don't come here. Don't be a part of it. Go away. Stop blaming others.*
*When my alarm clock doesn’t wake me up in the morning, I don't call out the clock maker as an irresponsible company. No I look at myself and say FUCK you’re an idiot.*
*Even Ted the teddy bear in the movie “Ted” has more responsibility for his actions. AND he’s a Teddy frickin bear.*
*You would have to thought after you got yourself in trouble the first time, you would be more careful. Stop pointing the finger. READ the disclaimer and only then “agree” to the terms if you want to join something. Don’t make us pay for your stupidity.*
*If you need water wings, don’t swim in the deep end. Oh and Please stop giving out your information!*
*"There are sicko’s out there. Protect yourself!"*
I don't know what I loved the most about this one. Was it the way he completely missed the point? Or was it the way he made it all about things I did off site that were only apropos because it made a comparison between good website management and poor website management?
Or was it just that he was a total arse?
Might be the arse part.
And on and on they go.
Those who are against consistency in the application of the TOU say pretty much the same thing.
### You're wrong 'cause personal responsibility! And you can't expect to be saved from your own stupidity 'cause Godwin! And if you don't like the website, leave! 'Cause neener-neener-neener"
And we come at them with our well reasoned arguments based in logic and small words and they still don't get it.
We even printed the argument on boobies and asses and snatches...and they still don't get it.
Despite the fact that some of these responses are offensive, semi-literate and laughable, I leave every one of them there. Okay...one gal double posted and asked me if I'd remove one of the two identical comments and so I did. I left the other one. Every single other comment is there exactly where you put it.
Last night, I was checking my notifications on my phone. In the last few days there have been a metric shit-tonne of them and if I don't keep up with them they get overwhelming. One of them caused me to check my messages. The header on the PM was "Coward".
I was intrigued.
Someone named annie says: *cant even let the truth be out there for people to see. deleted my comment. pathetic*
I scratched my head. Who can remember one functional illiterate in 2149 notifications over three days? Really...it's like looking for a needle in a stack of heroin addicts.
I knew I hadn't deleted her, so I looked for her.
There she was.
Exactly where she put herself.
[The "truth" is out there, annie. I swear to god.][https://fetlife.com/users/460984/pictures/17066554]
I responded to her that I had no idea what she was talking about. I don't delete any comments. Even those that deserve to be deleted. I didn't get into a semantic argument with someone who was clearly unarmed for a battle of wits, but I did tell her "Never mind. Found it. Right where you left it. Next time do your due diligence before hurling accusations :-D"
Then I told her not to strain herself by *being accountable for her own actions*...cause that'd be wrong.
She posted a comment that wasn't even about the writing just to post information about Hoodie for an large audience to see. She gave information about Hoodie's offsite activity.
She was outing.
No shit, Sherlock.
Read the text of that comment she was so mad I "deleted" again: "You should read Hoodie's blog where she clearly states she is still in contact with her stalker's mom. lol.. she isnt afraid of him, she wants her 15 minutes of fetlife fame"
And, ironically, that comment was found on the Vanilla shaming thread. She shamed Hoodie on the thread that talked about shaming people for wanting to have vanilla lives and connections protected from here...and this...for whatever reason they choose.
What the holy old fuck is wrong with people?
She and I have been in and out of it all morning.
I hauled her on the carpet for crashing into my life, uninvited and unannounced, hurling untrue accusations and calling me names.
I refused to accept her "apology" that was a backhanded and passive aggressive swipe at accountability...at best.
And she, like so many of those who are bitchin' and moanin' about personal accountability and taking responsibility for arsing things up, has now reported me.
ME!
The "coward".
I've been reported for my "bullying".
Erm...
Since this is fetlife and I AM a squeaky wheel (possibly the squeakiest of all the wheels right now with a total of three K&P writings on the subject of inconsistent TOU applications...twice having two there at the same time!), I will be banished, forthwith I have to assume. I'm not saying that I've been warned. I'm not saying that I've been told. I'm saying I assume it's the case because someone came uninvited into my world, harassed me and then reported me for bullying when I didn't give her a rim job and tuck her into bed.
It's to be expected.
They will have to show that they're taking a stand against people who are bullying and outing people and I will be that example.
After all, I was the one who was attacked...so it makes sense.
How do you like YOUR 15 minutes of fetlife fame, annie? Is it everything you hoped it would be?
Trust me, having people laugh *with* you isn't the same as having them laugh *at* you.
