Why I love how lame Kinky and Popular is.
Feb. 27th, 2013 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
babeinthewoodsThis morning I checked in with the thing I love to hate second most in the world (Don't worry, I will get to the thing I love to hate first most in the world very shortly), Kinky and Popular.
Picture, picture, picture...video, video, video...writing that made my feed...writing that made my feed twice...writing that made my feed so many times that I wanted to claw my own eyes out because it's about taking a dump in a public washroom...
And there it was.
The [obligatory complaint about people complaining about Kinky and Popular][https://fetlife.com/users/214838/posts/1268724].
Now, to be fair, the writing is intelligent and puts forth a decent premise: Of course Kinky and Popular would be populated mostly by the things that speak to the majority because, in the words of the author, *"generally speaking, more people will be into blowjobs (1349 kinksters into or curious about at the time of this writing) than will be into testicle flogging (no fetish at the time of this writing). This is not to celebrate one while denigrating the other, or to say one is “truer” kink than the other; this is simply how things are. The more specialized your interest, the less well it will do in a popularity-based system."*
So, yes. If your interests are more esoteric than the "usual" kinky goings on, then you're going to see less and less of it represented on the page...or find fewer groups to engage in...and by extension of logic, you'll find far fewer actual human beings to engage in them with.
The more "out there" you are, the fewer people will statistically be able to join you in enjoying your kink.
On the other hand, finding people who enjoy a good restrained blowjob given by a suicide girl to an Abercrombie model...that's like shooting stupid fish in a boring barrel. Too easy.
Kinky and Popular is merely the Homecoming court of kink. The prettiest people who are appealing to the largest cross section of the society will get crowned over and over.
*Obligatory break for a Mean girls reference here:*
*“I voted for Regina George because she got hit by a bus.”*
*“I voted for Cady Heron, because she pushed her.”*
And that very neatly brings me to the thing I hate first most:
Kink itself.
Okay...people who know me absolutely know where I'm going with this. Others are saying "But, babe, look where you are. Fetlife. You're being special again...like *stop eating paste* special".
I know.
I'm a sick, twisted, sexually open kinky fucker.
Literally.
What I hate is kink as a subculture, and the hating on K&P just solidifies it. It's the sexual version of the Mike Meyers character that tells us "If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!"
It's gotta be more kinky...more against the grain...reinvent the wheel more than the thing that came before it or it just ain't kinky.
"Oh...you only like to be tied up and banged by your Master who's married to *his* Mistress while your husband the puppy brings treats to them both while being cheered on by anarchist cheerleaders?" Sorrrrrrrrry, that's so passe. You're not kinky."
It's gotta be bigger, better, faster and more.
It's gotta be the Norweigan Black Metal of kink for kink to "count".
We take everything that's out there, turn it on its ear and then make it "better" by doing it the kinky way.
We've stripped emotionality from pairbonding. It's cool and admirable to have interpersonal physicality with people we don't bond emotionally with...and push the envelope further and further with that person (or those persons) in a physical way.
THAT'S cool. THAT, my friends, is kink.
So, I'm going one better than loving the K&P for shock value because so many people are into hating on it.
I'm openly going vanilla. Vanilla is the new taboo.
I'm gonna openly hold hands with the one person I'm having sex with and tell anyone I can find that he's my "boyfriend" and we're "in love" just to show everyone just how avant garde I can be.
I'm gonna preach the word of kissing and cuddling and emotional attachment and weather the looks of withering scorn while I do so knowing that I'm too "out there" for you to comprehend.
I'm gonna love pictures of girls in their birthday suit and call it kinky...because I don't see any rope, any piercings, any tattoos, any latex or any fucking machines.
"Holy shit! Look at this twisted picture! That's a chick with no clothes on **AND SHE'S NOT SUCKING A COCK!!!!!!!!!!!**"
And I'm gonna do it all knowing that I've done something I never imagined possible...I'm gonna shock the shit out of the unshockable by NOT being bigger. By NOT being better. By NOT being faster. By NOT being more.
By finding the last taboo left in the known kinkiverse...being a gooey, cuddly girl who can say "Dude...I'm too much for you to handle...I'm *VANILLA*. You're not hardcore enough to be vanilla."
Edited to add: Someone has *GOT* to fill me in on this alleged reference to 30 Rock I've apparently made. Seriously, I've never seen it. Lemme in on the joke?
Picture, picture, picture...video, video, video...writing that made my feed...writing that made my feed twice...writing that made my feed so many times that I wanted to claw my own eyes out because it's about taking a dump in a public washroom...
And there it was.
The [obligatory complaint about people complaining about Kinky and Popular][https://fetlife.com/users/214838/posts/1268724].
Now, to be fair, the writing is intelligent and puts forth a decent premise: Of course Kinky and Popular would be populated mostly by the things that speak to the majority because, in the words of the author, *"generally speaking, more people will be into blowjobs (1349 kinksters into or curious about at the time of this writing) than will be into testicle flogging (no fetish at the time of this writing). This is not to celebrate one while denigrating the other, or to say one is “truer” kink than the other; this is simply how things are. The more specialized your interest, the less well it will do in a popularity-based system."*
So, yes. If your interests are more esoteric than the "usual" kinky goings on, then you're going to see less and less of it represented on the page...or find fewer groups to engage in...and by extension of logic, you'll find far fewer actual human beings to engage in them with.
The more "out there" you are, the fewer people will statistically be able to join you in enjoying your kink.
On the other hand, finding people who enjoy a good restrained blowjob given by a suicide girl to an Abercrombie model...that's like shooting stupid fish in a boring barrel. Too easy.
Kinky and Popular is merely the Homecoming court of kink. The prettiest people who are appealing to the largest cross section of the society will get crowned over and over.
*Obligatory break for a Mean girls reference here:*
*“I voted for Regina George because she got hit by a bus.”*
*“I voted for Cady Heron, because she pushed her.”*
And that very neatly brings me to the thing I hate first most:
Kink itself.
Okay...people who know me absolutely know where I'm going with this. Others are saying "But, babe, look where you are. Fetlife. You're being special again...like *stop eating paste* special".
I know.
I'm a sick, twisted, sexually open kinky fucker.
Literally.
What I hate is kink as a subculture, and the hating on K&P just solidifies it. It's the sexual version of the Mike Meyers character that tells us "If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!"
It's gotta be more kinky...more against the grain...reinvent the wheel more than the thing that came before it or it just ain't kinky.
"Oh...you only like to be tied up and banged by your Master who's married to *his* Mistress while your husband the puppy brings treats to them both while being cheered on by anarchist cheerleaders?" Sorrrrrrrrry, that's so passe. You're not kinky."
It's gotta be bigger, better, faster and more.
It's gotta be the Norweigan Black Metal of kink for kink to "count".
We take everything that's out there, turn it on its ear and then make it "better" by doing it the kinky way.
We've stripped emotionality from pairbonding. It's cool and admirable to have interpersonal physicality with people we don't bond emotionally with...and push the envelope further and further with that person (or those persons) in a physical way.
THAT'S cool. THAT, my friends, is kink.
So, I'm going one better than loving the K&P for shock value because so many people are into hating on it.
I'm openly going vanilla. Vanilla is the new taboo.
I'm gonna openly hold hands with the one person I'm having sex with and tell anyone I can find that he's my "boyfriend" and we're "in love" just to show everyone just how avant garde I can be.
I'm gonna preach the word of kissing and cuddling and emotional attachment and weather the looks of withering scorn while I do so knowing that I'm too "out there" for you to comprehend.
I'm gonna love pictures of girls in their birthday suit and call it kinky...because I don't see any rope, any piercings, any tattoos, any latex or any fucking machines.
"Holy shit! Look at this twisted picture! That's a chick with no clothes on **AND SHE'S NOT SUCKING A COCK!!!!!!!!!!!**"
And I'm gonna do it all knowing that I've done something I never imagined possible...I'm gonna shock the shit out of the unshockable by NOT being bigger. By NOT being better. By NOT being faster. By NOT being more.
By finding the last taboo left in the known kinkiverse...being a gooey, cuddly girl who can say "Dude...I'm too much for you to handle...I'm *VANILLA*. You're not hardcore enough to be vanilla."
Edited to add: Someone has *GOT* to fill me in on this alleged reference to 30 Rock I've apparently made. Seriously, I've never seen it. Lemme in on the joke?
